I hate that my first blog post has to be about this ‘unfortunate incident’. In Phie World I promised to tell you my experiences. Well, here is one of them.
I am not much of an outgoing person. I stay at home, listen to music and dance to it… alone. It doesn’t feel weird because I have been doing this all my life. I have read articles that claim that if you want to meet new people then you need to put yourself out there! I went to town two weeks ago; not to put myself out there, but to meet with my boss. There was some work related stuff we needed to discuss. As I was walking to the office which happens to be on the high-end side of town, someone stopped me. This was quite unexpected since the guy approached me from behind. I was surprised! We exchanged greetings and My speed suddenly dropped because he was talking to me. I didn’t want to speed off- it would have appeared rude.
We walked for some distance then the guy suddenly stopped. He said he needed to head back to his office. He told me his name and so did I. Just before we said bye, he handed me his phone . I was supposed to key in my phone number and I did just that. While this is something I rarely do, I did not see anything wrong with it on this particular day.
I proceeded to the office and we discussed what was to be discussed. In the evening I went home. The days that followed saw me talking to this guy on phone. He used to send texts most of the times. Just the normal greetings and talking about the weather. Then he asked me to go on a lunch date with him. I was hesitant because I felt certain uneasiness with this guy. It was something I could not explain. Was he a conman? A thug? Or an accountant like he claimed? In a city full of people of all kinds, such thoughts couldn’t have slipped my mind. I couldn’t explain the uneasy feeling.
I am the type of person who takes time to trust people. Whether it is forming friendships or love, I find it appropriate to know the other person’s intentions. This has made me have very few friends. So here I am. I have met up with someone new who is insisting on a date. He did not ask me the obvious question- whether I was seeing someone; yet his talk was hinting at dating. I have always thought this is a key question before starting to focus your energies on someone. This made me ask him what he wants. He told me he wanted me to be his ‘gal’ – that he wanted to make me his ‘lover’. I told him I was dating and he insisted on the date anyway.
One afternoon he called. I could tell from his tone that he was somehow furious. He didn’t say hi. He called me by name and asked why my phone had been off. I got irritated because he was a nobody in my life, besides I had never asked him anything to do with his whereabouts. I was calm about it though. I told him I just chose to switch it off. He insisted that I was at my boyfriends. He went on to ask me to go for the lunch date.
It just struck me that he was somehow using force. Even if it were to be friends, friendships aren’t forced. They just happen. I was therefore hesitant and asked him what he really wants. Wait for it…. The guy raised his voice and hurled insults at me; names that I have never been called by anyone. I was shocked. I didn’t respond to any of his insults; my mama taught me better than that! He hung up and immediately sent a text saying:
‘Ua so silly dlete my no. Immediately I don lyk coping wit silly gals’
My immediate reaction was a laughter in disbelief. I chose not to reply to this message either. I couldn’t believe how some little patience made me learn this guy effortlessly. I’m sure if I would have gone on date with him, he would have hid this part of him. Now I am sure I couldn’t have become his ‘gal’ let alone friend.
Whether you are single by choice or circumstance, take time to study the person you want to be in a relationship with. If he doesn’t respect you in the simplest ways, he won’t respect you at all. Above everything trust your instincts- there is a reason God gave you that.